'Human Being' Vs. 'Human Doing' & More On '4 Things With Amy Brown'


On this episode of 4 Things With Amy Brown, Amy Brown talks about the four things that are helping her be better at life right now: Some relationship advice she and her husband are obsessed with; one more reason to not comment on people’s body size, even if it’s a compliment; and an online shopping hack that could yield some great discounts. But first, she talks about her new focus on becoming a “human being” instead of a “human doing.” She shares that lately, she’s felt very busy and hectic, but goes to bed wondering what she actually accomplished with her day. So she’s actually writing a mission statement for herself: “Where I’m going...what I’m doing to get there.” And she and her husband are working together to write one for their family, as well. This way they can move forward with purpose. But not too much purpose! She also learned to schedule downtime for herself, because rest and leisure activities are important for our quality of life, too.

Then she shares a talk between Tim Ferriss and Brene Brown about relationships; they’re talking specifically about marriage, but she thinks the communication process they discuss could work for any partnership, romantic or not. Essentially, it’s about making time for productive conversation outside of an argument, or in a neutral time and space when emotions aren’t running high. Tim and his wife have a once-a-week “batching” session, where they share what they think worked for the week and what they’d like to see more of from the other. He likes this process because it exposes your own patterns to yourself; if you keep hearing the same note during these batching sessions, it can help reveal things you can work on. It also creates a neutral zone for discussion. Brene and her husband do something similar, and they stress the importance of “clean fighting;” that is, not calling names, assigning blame, or trying to shame. 

Body positivity and body shaming is a topic close to Amy’s heart; she struggled with an eating disorder in the past, and knows how damaging a bad body image can be to someone’s mental and physical health. Even if it seems like a compliment, it’s best to refrain from commenting on someone’s weight loss, because you might be doing a lot of harm: Placing too much value on their weight loss, or too much importance on weight with regards to their beauty, can lead to incredibly unhealthy habits, or reinforce existing ones. It’s best to reserve compliments for things like their sense of style, their investing savvy, or their sense of humor; something less physical and more based on their personalities and the things they like about themselves. All that kind of compliment can lead to is a good mood. Get all these great life hacks and more on this episode of 4 Things With Amy Brown.

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